it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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