We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
