So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
