watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
