I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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