i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
