i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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