you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
