just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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