Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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