Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
