I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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