I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
