i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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