Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
