yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
