im having a threesome with these popsicles
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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