My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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