i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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