I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
