if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
