he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
