i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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