i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
