you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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