I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
