I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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