Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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