Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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