it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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