I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
