just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
