You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
