In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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