Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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