Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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