if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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