His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
