he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
