That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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