If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
