oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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