I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
