I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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