i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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