He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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