It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
