Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
