Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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