great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
two words...techno handjob
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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