I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
