I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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