Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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